Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Missing a Daughter I Haven’t Met
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It is almost two years from the day I decided that I want you in my life. Almost two years to the day I decided to let go of my fears. Almost two years to the day that I opened my heart to accept you.
Almost two years have passed and yet I haven’t met you. Almost two years wasted not knowing you. Almost two years of missing a daughter I never met.
When we will finally meet, you will recognize me. I will be the only man whose eyes will sparkle with tears. I will be the only man whose heart will beat like a locomotive. I will be the only man whose arms will shake as he holds you in a gentle embrace. I will be the first man who will thank God. I will be the first man who will say ‘I love you! I’ve been waiting for such a long time for you.’
When we take you home, our family is complete. You will meet a lot of people: grandparents, uncles and aunts, cousins and everyone else. But don’t worry, amidst all those people, you will be able to recognize me. I am the only man whose eyes still sparkle with tears, whose heart still beats like a locomotive, whose arms still shake as he holds you in a gentle embrace. I am the man who still is thanking God, the one who always whispers ‘I love you!’
When we can finally take you outdoors, I will introduce you to God. He is the one who sends the sunrise every morning, the one who sends the birds to sing you songs to welcome the morning. He is the one who created the sky, the trees, and the gentle breeze. He is the one who causes the sun to set so that we can see the moon and the stars. And He is the one who gave you to us.
When you can walk and run, we will show you how big the world is! We will take you to the beach to build sand castles. We will take you to the mountains to watch the birds. We will take you to the parks to watch flowers and chase butterflies. Or we can just stay at home and listen to the rain go pitter-patter on the roof as we wait for rainbows! We can blow bubbles and chase them all around! And you can dance to your heart’s delight! Amidst the big world you will recognize me. I will be the man who carries the pink pail and shovels as we build the castles, the one who will call out the birds, the one who will point to the rainbow, the one who will blow the bubbles with you, the one who will clap his hands as you do the twirl, the one who still whispers ‘I love you!’
When you begin to discover words, we will tell you wonderful stories. We will tell you stories about God, how He made the world, how He created Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden. We will tell you about Noah and the first rainbow, about Moses, Samson, David, even Deborah, Esther and Ruth. I will tell you stories about Mary, Joseph and Jesus and his Apostles. We will tell you stories about how God loves us. We will paint pictures with words. We will hold you little hands as you pray before sleeping, we will kiss those soft cheeks. And as I tuck you into bed, I will whisper ‘I love you!’
When you begin to go to school, we will be there with you. We will show the world how proud we are of you. We will talk to you about school, about teachers and about the world around us. And we will tell you more stories. We will tell you about brave warriors like Arthur, Aragorn, Maximus and Wallace. We will tell you about captivating warriors like Guinevere, Eowyn, Arwen and Galadriel. We will tell you about the great adventure towards heaven! And you will notice that I have changed. I am no longer the strong man who has all the answers, but a man who makes a lot of mistakes in his quest of becoming a man after God’s own heart. Yet some things will remain the same, the sparkling eyes after every story, the big arms in a gentle embrace, and the soft whispers of ‘I love you!’
Years will pass swiftly and you are now a young lady. You will have your own world and your own life and you begin to see that mom and dad have changed. We can no longer understand you because, in your own words, we are ‘too old-fashioned, too protective’. Things will change but some things will remain the same. I will still be the man with teary eyes whenever I misunderstand you, I will still hug you whenever you are willing to be hugged; I will still whisper ‘I love you!’ even if you are not there.
Then one day, I will find myself on a very unforgettable moment, your wedding day. There will be lots of people, too. More people than the day when we first brought you home. How will you recognize me? I am one of the two men whose eyes are sparkling with tears. I am one of the two men whose hearts are beating like a locomotive. But, I will be the only man whose arms will shake as he holds you in a tight embrace. I will be the older man who will say ‘I love you!’
But I will no longer be the man who will say ‘I’ve been waiting for such a long time for you.’
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4 comments:
wow.
i can't help but smile at how good a father you would make. ;)
in His time.
how nice...
im beginning to miss my dad..=)
why don't you call your dad?
Believe in His power.. Miracles could happen.. Good luck Sandman..
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