Saturday, February 10, 2007
Rising up again...
Yet, I didn't. I want to be real. I, too, am susceptible to disappointment, to weariness, to loneliness.
But I have to keep going. Rising up, falling again. It doesn't have to matter how many times I've fallen. How many times I've stood up again is what matters.
I have come to accept that in my life, there will be periods of restlessness, wilderness experiences which can make or break me as a person. These periods often draw out the kind of person God wants me to be. To bring out the person, not for His benefit, but for me to look back and say, "By God's grace, I have grown spiritually."
A lot of things in my life are not as I want them to be. And frankly, they are taking a toll on my faith.
The wilderness experiences are becoming common occurrences in my life this year. I sense that I am being prepared for something and I need to go through these experiences to draw out the things necessary for God to be glorified.
I take solace in this song that became 'my song' when I let go of my atheist past in 1991. It's the song of my heart right. And through the emptiness and pain, I offer my brokenness.
My heart is in my Abba's hands and my soul finds rest in the arms of the One who created the universe.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Empty
Empty... Just doing the motions of living... Doing what needs to be done... Teaching... Mentoring... Encouraging...
But at the end of the day: Empty
Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?
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