Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Smitten

Saw her for the first time today. I'm definitely smitten. The most beautiful thing next to mom.

If I, an imperfect dad, could be so smitten with my daughter, how smitten could God be with us, He being the perfect Father?

*sigh*

a.m.d.g.

Monday, November 08, 2010

Long Day

I woke up this morning to my wife's voice, "Daddy, it's time to go."

"Huh? Where?"

"Labor room."

I sprang from bed. Must have been adrenaline rush. Half-panicking I walked down the stairs, did a final check on the seven-week-old luggage in the trunk and added my favorite malong in the bag.

After a quick bite, we headed of to the lab to pick up some test results done last Saturday. I found myself getting impatient. "Where's the in-charge? The sign says 7AM - 5PM." And only to find out it was still 6:45a.m.

By 7:30AM, we were at the door of the labor room. It was the beginning of another round of tests to check on the baby. Only the mother is allowed in so I stayed outside, with her girly handbag and a pile of clothes as she had changed into hospital clothes. I kept pacing the floor for an hour or two before I decided to have a quick breakfast.

After breakfast, I met some people from CordLife, while texting and calling some of my wife's clients. So I had a few hour's worth of experience in her shoes, how it is to be in sales. After getting her some food, it became quiet, too quiet. No calls, no text messages. Too quiet that I was able to finish two local newspapers.

Near noontime, I was advised to get a room and wait. By this time I had drained my mobile phone's batteries after using it as a radio and I may have probably worn down my slippers by a few millimeters.

After a quick lunch, I went back to the waiting area. My favorite radio station has already switched to Chinese. So I had no other form of entertainment but looking at the new babies in the nursery.

After a few hours, I decided to go home, pick up a few documents, my netbook and maybe a new reading material. When I came back, my wife met me at the door and told me to stay in the room and watch cable. I complied but wasn't really interested in watching any TV.

At about 4PM, the nurse called informing me that my wife requested to be brought to the room to 'freshen up'. I didn't understand what it meant to I went to the labor room to fetch her. The labor room is on the second floor of another building while our room is on the tenth of another building, a good 10 minute walk.

While waiting for the orderly and the wheelchair, I bought my dinner and a few snacks and cola for the night. She was very happy to be in the room as the labor room was bare, devoid of any entertainment and no mobile phones allowed. The only sound any mother-to-be would hear are moans from labor pains, not a good place to be.

We had dinner. She had a chance to check e-mails as we had in-room wifi access. Had an hour or two just laughing and staring at each other, then watching her favorite tv show. After freshening up, she was wheeled back to the labor room at around 10PM.

So here I am now, 12 midnight and about to fall asleep when I received a call. If labor does not progress tonight, CS will be performed at 5AM.

So here goes another can of cola...

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Stormwalker

Note: The idea for this post came up while I was doing a book review for Max Lucado's  book Fearless: Imagine your Life Without Fear.

As I am reading a chapter from a book I'm reviewing, I was amazed by the vividness of the author's description on what could have transpired on the fishing boat during the New Testament story about the storm.

In the story, the apostles were fearful for their lives while Jesus lay asleep. Before that night, the apostles should have already seen Jesus doing amazing things and that the storm shouldn't have been a cause for alarm, but it did alarm them. They woke Jesus and He commanded for the wind to be still and it followed.
I remember many events in my life when Jesus came through for me in the midst of my own spiritual battles and I should already have enough faith for the daily challenges of life. But I didn't. I am one of those who have spiritual amnesia.

A few weeks ago, my bosses came for a visit and about the same time other execs also came. We were scheduled to have an event and everything was going well until I checked on the execs' credentials.

One of the execs graduated from the same field as I did and he had vast experiences in the same industry. I became scared and I panicked! The night before the presentation, I lost sleep running various scenarios in my head, making sure the team and I would be able to answer any technical questions.

However, morning came and the time to present came and went. None of my fears materialized. Everything went smooth.

On another occasion, Jesus went out to pray while the apostles were on the boat, waiting on Him. Suddenly, they saw Jesus walking on the water. Peter, impulsive as he was, predictably volunteered to walk on water towards Jesus. After a few successful steps, he began sinking as soon as he realized that he was walking on deep waters. And as soon as he cried for help, Jesus came to his rescue.

As I look back, I find myself in the shoes of Peter, wanting to do great things for God, yet never having the focus to fix my eyes on Jesus. So I sink.

Yet I take hope that when I cry out, Jesus' hand will be there.

Saturday, August 07, 2010

Day 30: Live again!

Having reached this part of the book and being able to write my thoughts means that I didn't die before the book was over! :p
Kidding aside, I've learned a lot throughout the journey and the book closed with four reminders on how to live better moving forward.
Just four words...
Love...
Integrity...
Forgiveness...
Enthusiasm...

Monday, August 02, 2010

Day 29: Almost home...


A couple of years ago, I was reading Purpose Driven Life and it dawned on me that I have a lot of things to improved on how I live my life.
First, I was living as though I'd be forever alive on earth. I spent a lot of time and money getting knowledge, upgrading gadgets and accumulating stuff.
I then realized one thing that has been in my mind ever since: If my lifetime is a drop of water, eternity is much larger than the Pacific ocean!
It is then important to maintain an eternity perspective in the present.
Unlike work where we can render overtime to finish unfinished business, life rarely provides the same opportunity. When the buzzer rings, it's game over. Only a few could get to do overtime.
But we have the gift of time called everyday to do the things that needed to be done until we finally go home...

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Day 28: Sandman is here...

Quite a few times I have seen pictures of places where someone has written on a wall, "Joe was here". This reflects the human need to tell the world not only "Been there, done that", but also attempting to leave visible marks that they were actually there.

Early in my life, I had that dream too, to make a big mark on earth, to make a contribution that is so big.
In my growing years, that dream was replaced by skepticism, No way can I leave that big mark, what can one man do?, and paving the way for an inner struggle.

When I met Christ, my hopes were renewed because the Scripture promises that "I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me. (Phil 4:13)".

Yet much of what we can do spiritually converges on a practical need in this world. Like Jesus who was sent to a world in need of a Savior, we Christians are here on earth to be his arms and feet.

Let me give provide some examples. Here is one from a guy I actually know: seeing a need in a small village and worked on meeting that need. Another one is a is group called Operation Blessing.

I leave my own mark in countless ways. I may not be a preacher nor someone who can provide scriptures to any need, yet I know that there are things that only I can do and in doing them, I leave my mark.

Most of my marks will be forgotten when I'm gone. Only those marks I create with God will remain...

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Day 27: Safe...

I remember when I was young. I rode a bike without any protective gear, drank water from the faucet, and wrestled my dogs to my heart's content.
 
Now, kids wore protective gear that make them look like gladiators. People would drink water sold in plastic bottles and would never allow children to touch furry animals. All in the name of safety!
 
I was in another city for the past few days and had the opportunity to listen to quite a few interesting people: CNN hero of the year, a lady pastor from Nigeria, a communist leader-turned-pastor, a world-famous songwriter-singer-worship pastor, etc. And there were two more who, for security reasons, asked not to be named.
 
Listening to these people made me think about how 'safe' my life is. I only drink filtered or distilled water, wear my seatbelt always, install protective gear around the house to protect the little ones against bruises and bumps, etc. Day in and day out, I press buttons on a keyboard and roll the mouse wheel… Day in and day out, I struggle against leading prayer even if it's only me and my wife listening…
 
I often dreamed of wanting to do something great for God. But most of the time, what is big is small and what is small can be big, in God's eyes.
 
So how do I start living big for God? Maybe all it takes is just a walk across the room...
 
 

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Day 26: Crash!!!

When I was a boy, I enjoyed playing with Lego, letting two of my creations smash against each other with pieces flying in multiple directions. Then I pick up the pieces and put back the creations together again and do the smashing all over again.
 
I wish life was that way. Being able to mess up things, letting the pieces fly knowing that at the end, I can put it back the way it was before.
 
But life isn't. People mess things up for everyone else. But most of the time, I do the messing up myself without any help from anyone!
 
I've been in those times when I felt that I've messed beyond my capacity of fixing and had let God do the fixing for me. Looking back, I wouldn't have messed up in the first place if I followed what God said.
 
Many things in this world cannot be fixed by man. I feel blessed knowing that God does not treat the world the way I treated my Legos….
 

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Day 25: Bridges to eternity

Everyday, we build 'bridges'.
 
We build 'bridges' to allow us to go from where we are to where we want to go. This could be earning a living, exercising, etc.
 
Everyday, we build bridges for others too. We help others get to where they want to go. This could be acts of service(a.k.a. chores!), work-related tasks, or even just connecting people with other people.
 
This year, I've decided to keep myself and my wife healthier by taking control of what we eat during breakfast. The morning starts with me peeling vegetables and juicing them. Then I clean the juicer before I start cooking Rolled oats that make up the rest of the meal. The next morning the same activities all over again. The result: no major illnesses.
 
After breakfast, I play with a nephew. I build a tower using blocks and he topples it down. Then I build again, he topples it. This goes on until we find another thing to do over and over again.
 
Isn't that a lot like the life most people are living? We do the motions of living and do it all over again the next day. Our 'bridges' last for no longer a day! :(
 
Yet there are bridges that we can build that lasts until eternity. These are those bridges that lead others to God.
 
Bridges to eternity… the rest are bridges to nowhere...
 

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Day 24: Sowing

Life is like sowing seeds. We reap what we sow.
 
Many times we are impressed with people who have already 'made it'. They have the big things in life.
 
But again God looks at the heart. It is what's inside that really matters. What's inside will eventually determine what we sow.
 
Honestly, I do desire good things life has to offer. The challenge now is not to use them as crutches or treating them as the meaning for my existence.
 
Instead, these are to be treated as blessings with me as a steward.
 
Sometimes I ponder, what if my seeds are small? What if these seeds can bring fruit that will make a big impact? I am reminded that I can plant and water the seeds but only God can make it grow.
 
The key is to plant seeds, no matter how small.
 
Nothing grows if I plant rocks….
 

Monday, July 12, 2010

Day 23: Sandcastles...

When I was a kid, I enjoyed building sand forts with my cousins. We would build a fort each and then start battles using 'cannon balls' made of sand.
 
Eventually, one 'king' would be declared winner and his fort will be left alone while the loser's, or what's left of it will be 'pillaged' and 'burned to the ground'.
 
At the end of the day, the tide comes in and washes away the forts. No traces are left...
 
In real life, we do the same too. We strive and accumulate everything that we can, most of the time forgetting what really matters until it is too late.
 
I was in the same place once but a visit to the Howff reminded me of what really mattered to me.
 
All the the possessions that I hold valuable could be just trash to everyone else. All the awards, pieces of cold metal. Such is life, value is relative to the one who sees it.
 
Yet everything done for Christ will endure forever...
 
 

Friday, July 09, 2010

Day 22: Perspective

A lot of times we focus too much on our circumstances and forget that God is much bigger. And all it needs is a change in perspective: looking through God's eyes, not ours.
 
The author puts it beautifully when he wrote:"To shift to the positive and discover God's perspective, you must look through the yes of faith.  When you do, suddenly your attitude change provides room for God to work a miracle in your life. God loves to take the little bit we have and multiply it, because then He alone gets the credit. God loves to take the ordinary and do the extraordinary, because is doing so He reveals more of who He is."
 
Sigh…
 
'nuff said.
 

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Day 21: The whole picture...

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to look back at life and say we lived it the way we wanted?
 
We did what we wanted to do… we said what we wanted to say… Instead of doing things for the sake of existing or holding back words just to be safe?
 
What if who I am at work is the same guy at church? The same guy at home?
 
What if I can actually spend more time with the things that make my heart come alive? What if I can say what I mean and mean what I say… ALL the time?
 
If I look at my whole life as a painting, there would be areas that are in vibrant colors, areas in my life where I would be glad to share to the world. And then there are these areas that I would really like to cover up with fresh, vibrant paint, areas that could use second, third, nth coatings.
 
I take heart knowing that as a Christian, Jesus already repainted those areas! I only need to see those areas as they are in God's eyes and not see them as they were in the past.
 

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Day 20: On Solid Ground


Life will have its share of troubles and no one is exempt.
The earthquakes of life will reveal how strong our foundations are. Its storms reveal our character.
God never causes bad things to happen, instead, He allows these to happen in order to bring about greater good.
It is always important to have a strong foundation rooted in God to be able to survive life's tremors. And we do have a God who will be our shelter during the storms.
We walk on solid ground when we walk with God...

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Day 19: Stillness...

Transformers... more than meets the eye!

When I was a kid, I was so fascinated with the Transformers. How in the world can a car transform into a robot?

And then there were the superheroes. All wimps but put in a costume, they become very courageous and end up saving the day.

Secretly, I hoped to be like them... to be able to transform and help make the world a better place.

But then, something happened... I grew up! Along the way, I learned to conform to the world and became a regular guy. Going from one task to another, filling my days with activity so as not to be idle. I kept on chasing the next big thing, if only to try to satisfy the spiritual emptiness I felt.

Eventually, I stopped chasing. The stillness was deafening, the slow pace was maddening. The stillness marked the beginning of a series of wilderness experiences and looking back, I know that the stillness has allowed my heart to be at rest. The experiences taught me to let go and let God.

I am reminded of a caterpillar. When it is ready, it spins itself a cocoon and in the stillness that follows, it undergoes metamorphosis and turn into a butterfly.

I believe that God planted seeds of greatness in our hearts. The world has taught us to kill the seeds, the very seeds that carry the reasons for our existence.

It is only in confronting the stillness that the seeds can grow. Only in the stillness that we can be taught to become who we are meant to be as God intended. At the right time, like caterpillars, we spin our cocoons and wait on God in the stillness.

How do we know that it's the time? When we want to fly so much that we are willing to let go being a caterpillar!

Monday, July 05, 2010

Day 18: Storm-proof

Nearly twenty years ago, my mother and I travelled on a ship and we passed through an area that faces the Pacific Ocean. This area is notorious for deep trenches and huge waves. Many times, the waves would be as high as the ship and screams from the other passengers can be heard as the ship navigates the sea. The passengers could only pray and have faith that the captain could bring the ship safely through this area.

 

Life has its storms too. We either struggle against them or learn to navigate through them. Struggle and we may end up more hurt than when the storm began. Learn to navigate and we may emerge stronger and wiser.

 

When I'm faced with storms, a lot of things become insignificant and I am forced to evaluate my priorities. The top priorities include relationships and health. Other stuff can wait till the storm is over.

 

The most important thing would be to find an anchor that is strong enough. This anchor is God. The author beautifully writes, "When hurricane winds blow in your life, remember the He know where you are. Maybe it feels like He's nowhere near and you're all alone. Even when you don't feel His presence, God is still with you. He's behind the storm, in the midst of the storm, and beyond the storm, always there waiting for you, ever present."

 

Becoming a Christian does not mean that there will be no storms. But it makes us... Storm-proof.

Day 17: GPS

Among man's greatest inventions would be the GPS. It used to be available only to the military but now it is available even for civilian use. With a GPS installed in a car, a foreigner may be able to safely navigate within unfamiliar territories. Although very handy, misusing a GPS can also get anyone lost.
I have a spiritual GPS. It allows me to navigate towards God's purpose for my life.
Giftings: God has gifted me with talents and skills that, when used properly, will serve a greater purpose that glorifies God.
Passion: If the giftings are my vehicles, passion is the fuel that allows for the full use of these gifts.
Struggles: My struggles allow me to learn to depend on God. It is in my weakness that His strength is made perfect. It is His strength that enables me to fulfill my purpose.
To paraphrase Frederick Buechner defines calling as "the place where our greatest passion meets the world's greatest need."
And where is that place? I really don't know yet but my GPS will bring me there.

Day 16: Identity theft


Identity theft is a major concern and people have taken steps to protect themselves from becoming victims. Yet many do not know that there is another form of identity theft that is not obvious: Spiritual Identity Theft.
I remember watching The Lion King many years ago. In the story, the main character, Simba, is the heir to the throne of his father, Mufasa. Simba's uncle, Scar, wants the throne for himself and plotted to kill Mufasa and get rid of Simba. Scar deceived Simba to believe that he caused his own father's death. This resulted to Simba running away and Scar becoming the king.
I remember, as a child, I had nurtured a big dream. It was so big and I believed that I can only realize it if God will help me. A few years later, I gave up on that dream because I have been told lies about myself, about my identity.
In the six years that I have been coaching people, the identity lies can be categorized into three:
  • 'I am bad.'
  • 'I am too (fat, thin, etc.) or I am not (smart, beautiful, etc.)
  • 'I am unloved.'
It was only when I discovered the Truth about who I am, that I began to find myself working towards my God-dream again.
I am very careful now of my identity because the Bible warns, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;"(John 10:10).
By holding on to the Truth, I will finish this race.

Friday, July 02, 2010

Day 15: Busy Tone...

Since the invention of the telephone, man has slowly gotten used to the idea that we don't need to talk face-to-face.
 
I have nothing against technology but most of the time, technology has taken away the opportunity of being able to engage with people, especially the ones we meet everyday.
 
It is normal nowadays to use instant messaging to talk with the person sitting at the cube next to you. Or maybe send an email, leave a voicemail, send a text message, etc. And then we have social networking…
 
I have made some changes in my life. No emails, voicemails or text messages from the people working on the same floor as I do. Except if I'm sending in a report, a presentation or anything else that can't be talked about. For everything else, I get up, walk and talk to the person face-to-face. It's bringing in better results.
 
Now I'm wondering, can I tune out the noise around me and allow God to speak to me? Or do I continue to give Him a busy tone?
 
 

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Day 14: Gratitude


With the volume of bad news that we are bombarded each day, it is so easy to forget that we are blessed.
People who are truly grateful take time 'to smell the roses' and be in the moment. I feel blessed that five times a week, I can drink my (instant) coffee in front of a magnificent view.
So when you find yourself awake at night, count your blessings instead of sheep. And if you still can't sleep, why not talk to the Shepherd?

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Out with the old, In with the new

Today we inaugurate a new president. (Honestly, I did not support him as a believed another candidate was more qualified.)

But my love for my country goes beyond politics and today, too, I swear my allegiance to him and be the change I want to see in my country.

A lot of negative things have already been said about the outgoing president so let me put in something positive about her:
  • ROROs
  • Economic policies that cushioned the country from the economic crash
  • Moving holidays resulting to longer weekends
  • Heightened awareness among people that the fight against corruption is everyone's business
  • Peaceful transition to the next regime after the first-ever automated elections.
To the new president, sir, the hope of the whole nation is on your shoulders. May you find co-laborers to carry the weight and may you find the peace that comes along with leading from a servant's heart. God bless you!

Day 13: Carpentry

The Carpenter has places people in my life who seem to be helping me become a masterpiece. Admittedly, these people bug me.

Some of them carry measuring tape and they always make a point, mostly subtle, that I don't measure up to certain standards...

Some carry a saw and cut out whatever that is unneccessary.

Another might bring a hammer and you never know when the hammer is coming down. Ouch!

And then there are the vise grips, those who clamp themselves on you and don't let go. They just want you to be 'engaged in every part of the process'.

What bugs me the most are the sandpaper people. There are very abrasive and they come in just when you thought you are done. Sheeesh!

Whoever these people are, God put them in my life for a reason. I only need to pick out the truth, throw away the trash and become a better person.

On the other hand, God put me in the lives of others too. I wonder what I am in their lives... measuring tape, hammer, saw, vise grip or sandpapper?

Thank you God for these people. May I also be a blessing to them as I help in this carpentry business...

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Day 12: Conflicts...

Conflicts…. Men can't wait to run away from it. Women can't wait to talk about it.

One of the most important life skills that need to be taught is conflict resolution.

Conflict unresolved creates a fragile peace and relationships become shallow. Even worse, unresolved conflict leads to resentment and bitterness.

It is important to confront conflict fairly and quickly. If confrontation is not the desired option, forgiveness is.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Day 11: Dream Team...

To be able to fulfill those God-sized dreams, we need a dream team to assist us and they need us too, to assist them in fulfilling theirs.
 
A lot of people miss this. They believe that they need to  reach their purpose by themselves, and in effect, they don't need relationships.
 
For those of us who know that we need people, we are not able to do so. Yes, people would disappoint us as we would also disappoint others. People would hurt us as we would them.
 
But the reality is this, we need each other.
 
WE can get disappointed and hurt, but we can always choose to forgive...
 

Day 10: Forgiveness

A lot of people think that not forgiving others give power over that person. It does not.
 
The truth is, it is unforgiveness that has power over their lives. Bitterness takes over and results to diseases both physical and relational.
 
While it is true that there are certain offenses that are so difficult to forgive and forget, we take heart that we have been forgiven too.
 
The ocean of God's forgiveness is so deep that our own inability to forgive others is but a drop...
 

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Day 9: No more striving

Love, forgiveness, acceptance - these are major pillars in every relationship.

Up until a few years ago, I struggled with these three. I had one flash of insight and believed that if my heart is right with God, I would be able to do the three completely.

So I began to read about God and did what religious acts my religion recommended. I ended up emotionally and spiritually drained. I didn't get it. I did what I thought I should be doing to be close to God but eventually ending up worse than when I started.

Then one day I encountered God for the first time. The author of One Month to Live beautifully describes what I realized, "Your problem is not that you don't love God enough. It's that you don't understand how much He loves you. If you could grasp just a little bit of how much God loves you, you'd surrender all areas of your life to Him."

When I grasped it just a little tiny bit, I finally was able to have a personal relationship with God.

By His grace I know that I can love completely because He loved me first. I can forgive completely because He forgave me first. I can accept others completely because He accepted me first.

Finally, I have let go of striving...

Friday, June 25, 2010

Day 8: Life as a race

A lot of people compare life to a race. It has its easy, straight paths as well as the dangerous curves and bumps.

Unlike the usual race, in life we can choose to walk, to ride a bike or ride in someone else's car.

In order to get where we want to go faster, we choose a faster vehicle and go full throttle.

I have been driving since the age of fourteen and I can say pushing the pedal all the way to the floor is an exhilarating experience... but it's stupid.

Thankfully, I never got hurt and I realized that going full speed requires a skill or it can be deadly.

In my life, I have done full speed in some areas and got hurt. And then I started walking so as not to get hurt anymore... which is also stupid.

What I really need is to have the wisdom and skill to go full speed. God provides the forward thrust.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Day 7: The Heart

The Bible reminds us: "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." (Prov. 4:23).

If we want to live passionately, we need to have a heart that is fully alive!

The heart contains our dreams and aspirations. What is most important is, it also contains the God-sized dreams and our life's purpose - the reason why we are on earth.

How's your heart today

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Day 6: No Longer My Way

Many times in my spiritual life, I did it my way.

I did the 'convenient' religious practices to be at 'peace'. I sacrificed, fasted and read my Bible.

I knew about God. But still, I felt spiritually empty

Not until I began to know God did I finally get it.

Note: This post is about my reflections on what I read from the book. It is not a summary on the book contents.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Day 5: The flight of a lifetime...

I have been on airplane flights many times and have memorized the preflight orientation by heart. One of the instructions that took me a while to digest was putting on your own oxygen mask first before helping the elderly and children

Unspeakable selfishness… I thought at first

Having put in more thought into it, I began to see the reason: I am no good if I'm unconscious.

I was brought up by my parents to think about others first, even my Jesuit teachers taught me to be 'a man for others'. But that can be carried to the extreme, becoming 'selfless' to the point of neglecting myself.

I used to be a workaholic, solving one problem after another, trying to 'make a difference' until I had my first burnout

Trust me, burnout is not fun.

I then realized that to be able to do more, I must keep myself in the best condition, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I may have to say 'no' to many things to be able to say 'yes' to bigger things.

Like the airline oxygen mask, I find myself refreshed whenever I 'breathe in' the Word of God.

Do you have your oxygen masks on?

Note: This post is about my reflections on what I read from the book. It is not a summary on the book contents.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Day 4: Online...

In today's times, being online is as important as having a mobile phone. In fact mobile phones have allowed us to remain online even when we're away from the computer.

We live under the illusion that we always need to be online or else...

I resisted the online craze for sometime, having installed WiFi at home only this year. I registered for Facebook and Twitter only this month. I even have two mobile phones so I can be 'offline' from work during weekends and remain online for family through another number.

There is this nagging feeling of disconnection to the world whenever I'm offline.

Today, I realized that although my internet connection is very reliable, my connection with God is somewhat intermittent: just connecting whenever there is a need but never fully engaging throughout the day.

I certainly miss the feeling of peace, knowing that I am fully engaged with God. No striving, no condemnation, God is always in control.

Being connected with God does not mean locking myself up and praying.  Being connected is starting my day with a prayer and continuing the conversation throughout until bedtime.

Time to be online 24x7 with God again...

Note: This post is about my reflections on what I read from the book. It is not a summary on the book contents.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Day 3: Busy... with what?

I used to consider myself busy. Lots of stuff to be done at work. Cruising from spreadsheet to spreadsheet, from e-mail to e-mail, from meeting to meeting, etc.

With today's technology being prevalent, I spend more time communicating through email even though the other person is a few steps away. Spending more time deleting spam than actually communicating. And spending the rest of the day going through reports, requests, etc.

And life just flashes by...

And I got myself thinking: Is this the best use of my time and energy? Is there something out there that will bring the utmost value if i do it myself? Where is my presence most needed? Who needs me most? 

As I look at how I spend my time, I find activities that I can do without. In fact, taking away some of them allowed me to spend more time doing stuff that makes my heart come alive.

It is beginning to do wonders. If I could risk a little bit more, I'm on my way to living a life with more passion!

Note: This post is about my reflections on what I read from the book. It is not a summary on the book contents.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Day 2: Moments

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. - Anonymous

Day after day, we go through the motions of life. Wake up in the morning, take a shower, eat breakfast, go to work with lunch in between, go home, have dinner, and finally go to sleep. To some extent, there would be some variety, but then life is monotonously boring.

We then fill our lives with cheap thrills, shallow relationships, empty learning and whatnot's.

We go through leading lives of quiet desperation, living lives vicariously through soap operas, social networking and living in the information superhighway.

But there are those moments, moments that we feel truly alive. Let me share with you some of my moments:
  • looking at my baby's ultrasound images
  • hearing its heartbeat for the first time
  • my nephew giggling at a funny face I made
  • watching my wife's growing tummy rise and fall at every breath while she sleeps
I'm having more of those moments now.

And you?


Note: This post is about my reflections on what I read from the book. It is not a summary on the book contents.

One Month to Live

(written 06/18/2010)
Today, I decided to go through the book, One Month to Live again.

After going through the first chapter, I came to the conclusion that a lot of things in my life are beyond my control.

On my tombstone will be my name, probably my favorite quote, and my date of birth and death. Whatever I did and accomplished in my life will be represented by the dash between those dates.

Surprisingly, what happens in the dash is more than a dash. It consists of a lifetime created by the choices we made. It is important for me to live out my faith, press on towards God's purpose in my life, hoping that in the end, God will say to me, "Well done, good and faithful servant.'

Eventually, everyone dies, but not everyone truly lived.

Note: This post is about my reflections on what I read from the book. It is not a summary on the book contents.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Obituary(Repost from 11/07/2006)

He was a compassionate listener who was able to, for himself and others, put into perspective personal struggles in light of what he called "the Grand Plan". By writing and talking about how God was working in his life, he was able to inspire those around him to be aware of God’s presence in their lives and to seek through prayer God’s purpose for their own lives. As a patient coach, he was able to lead others into seeing themselves as God sees them and has encouraged the desire to fully express their talents and abilities for God’s greater glory.


He had a positive disposition around him that only comes from living a life fully surrendered to God. He also had this fierceness in him that others came to call him a prayer-warrior.Yet deep within him, there is this child’s heart that comes out at unexpected times, a trusting and giving heart, and a heart that celebrates life. When asked what drives him daily, he would reply, "I only live for one thing: to make God smile daily!"


He will be missed.
He was an obedient child of God, a loving husband and father, a good son and son-in-law, a dependable brother and brother-in-law, a loving uncle, a loyal friend and a thoughtful colleague.He had this way of moving around purposefully and had a sense of security that enabled him to say ‘No’ to anything that got him off-purpose. He used to say, “My life is but one drop in the ocean called eternity.” He lived his life that way, living in the present in light of eternity, balancing significance and success. He was always able to draw out lessons or messages even from very difficult circumstances. “Something good will come out of this!”, he used to say.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Slowing Down...

Having taken more responsibilities and preparing for the baby, I find myself not being able to do things that I used to enjoy: movies, books, gourmet cooking, coffee, etc.

Instead, I find myself merely existing, not exactly living. I am finding myself with shoulds and have to's more and more each day.

Kids...

Back in August of 2005, I started praying for a baby and this post came about. About a year later, God spoke to my heart and what came out was this. Many months later, I made another one.

Since then, I’ve never written anything else about my deep desire to have kids. Partly unbelief, partly acceptance.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Better is One Day(Psalm 84)

Rockers worship too!!!

Iron Sharpens Iron

I have always wanted to share how blessed I am to have worked with three men early in my professional life. These men have made lasting impressions on how I lead.

My first supervisor was AG. I worked for him for six months until he resigned to work for another company. He was really nice, very approachable and always ready to teach. My lasting memory of him was when we just had a very tough week to deliver our project.

He dropped by the apartment saying, “Hey guys, it’s been a tough week and you have been eating junk for dinner. If you can provide me with potatoes, carrots and some meat, I’ll cook up a casserole.” That was music to hungry men’s ears. The guy can really cook! (Lesson 1: Leader’s serve.)

My second supervisor was JD. He was a silent guy, a bit of a perfectionist and never took no for an answer. I learned to look at details and how to set up stretch goals. I had to go through documents at least three times to make sure that everything was right. And guess what, he can still catch a mistake! (Lesson 2: Be diligent in the small stuff, it will pay off later.)

My third supervisor was AY. He was this type of person who will defend you in front of his boss and then he will correct you in private. (Lesson 3: Never let another leader correct those you lead, it’s your responsibility!)

My fourth supervisor was again JD(who later became a manager). At this time, I was already a senior engineer and was entrusted to lead a small project group. At this stage, I started seeing the value of standing firm amidst changes. (Lesson 4: Manage change, not the other way around!)

To these men, mighty leaders, thank you!

Forgotten


Note: Right after I posted my last entry, I was invited to go to Scotland on a three-week business trip. The idea for this entry came when I visited the Howff, a very old cemetery(centuries-old) in Dundee, Scotland.

Sitting on a parkbench almost half a world away from home, I began pondering on the meaning of life and what it means to leave a legacy.


Looking at tombstones dated back to the 1500s, I couldn’t help but ask myself why these remain standing. Because of their state of disrepair, I began to assume that the relatives of those buried here have either moved on, or worse, didn’t have any descendants. Looking back at it now, my best guess would be that local historians prefer to have the Howff remain the way it is to show Dundee’s rich historical past.

How long are people remembered? I mean really remembered? Maybe a generation or two?

Material wealth may be passed from generation to generation, but again one fool in the lineage could easily obliterate millions.

What mark can I leave on earth that can live on through generations, if not forever? This brought me to an early childhood memory of a coffee mug: Only one life, ‘twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.

Which got me thinking... perhaps I got it right when I wrote my obituary.