Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Electrical Tape and Band-Aid


A funny thing happened this afternoon: my five-year-old sandal gave up on me, right in the middle of an uptown skywalk. Nabitas! I dragged my foot three flights of stairs so that the sole won't be detached from the rest of the sandal.

I was able to buy black electrical tape from a hardware store and walked towards the restroom. And right in the middle of the restroom the sole detached completely. All I could say was: hala nabitas! Then using the tape, I was able to attach both pieces together and walked away.

It was like a commercial for Mentos.

As I was looking for a new pair of sandals, God spoke: hey isn't that just like YOUR life?

Abba, give us the faith to let go of the momentary relief the world offers, give us the courage to choose the complete healing only You can give.

Abba, I lift up to You family and friends who are still captives to alcohol, smoking and gambling, those who have built walls around themselves, those who have caged themselves in, those who are under the control of depression and those still deceived by Enemy.

Abba, I place them at the foot of Your cross and I stand in the gap for them.

What do you mean? No response.

What did He mean by that? I had some time to think about it.

Then I saw things clearly. How many times have I neglected things that are truly important? How many times have I ran away? How many times have I avoided heart issues?

Is it only me or do most men do it too? As men, we have been taught that manhood is equal to physical strength and that listening to one's heart is a weakness.

When the heart is sick, we turn to hobbies, alcohol, porn, gambling, money, anything that would fill the emptiness momentarily. Band-aids. That's what I call them. Stick them over the wound and we're ok. Are we really ok?

I have my own band-aids too. And honestly, they provide little comfort. Why do we do this? Why do I do this?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

A Letter to a Son

Almost a year ago, I wrote a letter to your sister. I was hoping to make you a letter as soon as possible but wasn't able to.

I really don't know where to begin but let me start by telling you I love you and I am so blessed to have you, your mom and your sister in my life.

You see, son, I have waited more than five years for you. During those years I knew God was preparing me to become a good father.

I never knew my father the way I would have wanted to. He was mostly away, working overseas for the family. I used to resent him for not being there as I was growing up. But when I learned that he was an orphan, I understood why he did what he did.

Healing took time. In my case it took five years. Five years to be confident that I can be a good father. Five years to tame the anger and indifference. Five years to learn how to live fully and love unconditionally.

Son, I will make sure to spend as much time as I can with you. I will teach you things I should have learned when I was young. Things such as:

Monday, April 09, 2007

He still moves mountains...

It hit me like an approaching train. Suddenly I am overwhelmed by a deep sense of grief. No family, no home...

The restlessness sets in. Lies fall like arrows from an unseen Enemy. Bad... Not enough... Too much... Unloved... Unwanted

My soul has become weary as it searches for some sort of sanctuary, longing for just enough hope I can cling to. Looking for acceptance in a broken world...

Abba, You said that Your plans are to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me hope and a future. I have clinged to this promise for so long. And I will cling to it some more.

Strengthen me as I await healing and restoration. Strengthen me as I serve the purpose You have for my life. Strengthen me as I fight for those whom I love dearly.

Abba, I know you still move mountains.